can not lose another friend to breakup

can not lose another friend to breakup

New Years Eve i come to you. 

 

donning long jean coat 

i walk lush expectance 

through the steamy eve 

up the blocks of 52nd street. 

 

you, cocaine 

already rubbed in your gums. 

me, feigning 

sober friendship while i sip tipsy our sweet wantings (waitings)

— which radiate out 

which pour together 

which fill me up. 

 

your couch 

heads opposite, feet inch near 

heat builds in the shrinking spaces 

between legs. 

where can we …[be]…closer, 

my skin bids 

 

but you can't, you say. 

so we break: 

pull away, make tight, forming again two distinct bodies. 

then you come to me. 

don’t say you didn’t start it. 

you reach out 

your baby-blue nails to graze my knee 

fingertips crawl across the air, 

cry for contact.

i give you it. 

you stay long, in my bed. 

 

but you can’t, you say. 

so we break. 

 

next, who comes? who knows. we

come. wanting, not less, 

but for now familiar feel - 

more 

how

never together, 

but already broke 

so 

many 

times.

 

About the Author - Margo Schall: Margo is an educator, a lifelong student and cosmologist, a poet & bookmaker, and a queer lover in it all. Margo believes in erotics as our lifepower and our juice for justice that’s not dry. She believes in words as a way to reach, to long, to try.

 

Photo Credit: Inge Poelman